by Loraine Van Tuyl, PhD
Believe it or not, just two weeks ago I was one of the biggest social media rookies wandering the face of the earth. I knew that my heart was overflowing with offerings of love and consciousness, but something prevented me from crossing the threshold between my familiar in-person connections and the world-at-large represented by social media.
Thanks to the creative ArtMark program that I started with Jeffrey Davis at Tracking Wonder in February of this year, I realized that my decade long internet apprehensions weren't due to an aversion to technology and computers or lack of guidance and resources. Despite having many computer savvy family members, friends, and colleagues happily networking on facebook and eager to help, I was afraid of losing myself and my integrity without a clear intention how I wanted to spend my time online.
As soon as I surrendered and asked my inner drummer, Rainbow Crystal Woman, to expand my online presence from the inside out as Jeffrey advises, she dove in head first before the program was even over and not once looked back. I now see that we are unfolding the same story that I have lived and chipped at my entire life. It innately knows my path to the sun no matter where I plant it.
How reassuring. After emerging out of my own shadow, there was only one direction left to grow. Towards the light!
I met my most trusted spirit guide, Rainbow Crystal Woman, exactly thirteen years ago during my first sweat lodge ceremony. I was immediately drawn to the Lakota-guided teacher who crossed my path at a postdoctoral seminar at UC Davis but expected that I'd return to my merry old ways after his mystical teachings and special follow up retreat were over.
No such luck.
A week later, I was guided to Brooke Medicine Eagle's book, White Buffalo Calf Woman Comes Singing: the Spirit Song of a Rainbow Medicine Woman, which revealed that the Rainbow Crystal Woman spirit guide who visited her (and me) is the modern incarnation of White Buffalo Calf Woman, the most revered messiah of the Lakota.
My connection to Rainbow Crystal Woman was very powerful and clear from the start, but I struggled with fully accepting her as my inner drummer for years even though Brooke Medicine Eagle and other indigenous elders seemed to have no qualms whatsoever about our powerful connection. But I wanted to know - Why a Lakota spirit guide when I have my own rich Taoist Hakka Chinese, Creole (West African and Surinamese indigenous) and Dutch (Portuguese Jewish) roots and Catholic schooling to pick from?
Shouldn't my spirit guides be the extension of my ethnic and cultural lineages and roots?
My ancestral roots had each offered me wise teachings at different times of my life that shaped who I am today so why meddle with the sacred medicine and messiah of a cultural group that's been exploited enough and not even mine? In spite of my reservations, Rainbow Crystal Woman stood by me through deep transformations as I immersed myself within the many programs offered by the Sacred Stream.
I am now convinced that we don't get to pick our guides. They pick us precisely to mess with our views of reality. Rainbow Crystal Woman messed with my overattachment to my rich ethnic heritages to develop my deeper vision into my rainbow light essence and our shared rainbow spectrum as light beings, regardless of our diverse forms, unique names, and many social, cultural, racial, sexual, and gender identities. They matter and are still the reason for many injustices, but she taught me that oppression, denial, and imbalance were not able to taint my true self.
By understanding what's truly divine and eternal underneath these illusions of reality within myself, I would be able to awaken and cultivate lasting integrity and authenticity in others. Dozens of guides have appeared and become a part of my inner circle and landscape thanks to these teachings, my dedicated shamanic practice, and being of service to my clients and community.
To ground their energy and power, I needed to merge them into thirteen massive Stonehenge size stones on top of a large medicine wheel with Rainbow Crystal Woman and her counterpart, the All-Encompassing Buddha, Amithaba, sitting next to me in the center or I'd feel like a hot air balloon unable to settle into my body and unable to sleep and function in a grounded manner.
Why thirteen? Thirteen is the number of complete moon cycles in a year. Aligning to this thirteen moon year with its 7-day weeks and 4-week months allows us to dance to a cosmic rhythm in sacred circles and with sacred numbers that are attuned to our soul's highest potential and energetic blueprint.
In the last months, a growing upward pressure in my head caused unbearable nauseating migraines and ice cold extremities at the height of my full moon when I, you, my female readers, and many other women, are most open to guidance. I tried opening my crown to release the pressure, and practiced all the grounding exercises that I had learned in yoga, tai chi, and meditation classes, but could not bring the energy down to my feet.
During yesterday's monthly migraine attack, I was finally able to shift the energy in my throbbing head to my feet and powerfully absorb the swirling energy in my core, giving me instant relief.
In my visions, Rainbow Crystal Woman had lifted the entire medicine wheel with all my guides and stones off the Orkney Isles in Scotland and planted it on top of the crystal caves which are according to indigenous legend, in a medicine wheel formation underneath the Manataka Sacred Mountain and Valley of Peace in Arizona where many tribal councils gathered to honor Rainbow Woman. The beautiful Valley of Manataka and invigorating well-spring vapors inspired even enemies to put down their weapons, nourish their spirits, and respect their rainbow essence in one another.
As soon as my mind went into thinking mode, especially any type of resistance, such as "No, please don't ask me to write that" "Where is it going?" "This is too big of a leap, too much information, too revealing, etc etc" my migraine returned with a vengeance.
With very little hesitation leeway these days, I recommitted to trust Rainbow Crystal Woman's guidance, anchored into my body, agreed to write about this experience, and was able to tune into the intention behind sharing this story.
Many of my clients and many powerful healers and mystics, perhaps you as well, are classified by doctors as "medical mysteries" because of their porous and well-developed mind-body connections. While important to consider medical advice and treatment if needed, learn to honor your body's mysterious knowing. Physical and psychological symptoms are often hidden sign posts along your healing path even if it takes years to land where your inner drummer is trying to plant you.
At 44, right in time to have my post up by 4/13 and the first of four powerful blood moons on 4/15, I have finally landed and can now wholeheartedly embrace and reveal Rainbow Crystal Woman's message to not only cultivate a personal sacred well, but apparently to upgrade this to an entire valley, mountain, and well-spring of peace to share with everyone around you.
Is there a special place on earth that appeals to you as part of your inner scape? Have celestial beings and cosmic forces influenced your emotions, thoughts, physical or spiritual well-being? What are some ways in which your body speaks to you?
I would love to hear from you and hope that you are (a) well,