Heartbroken During Times of Tragedy: a Gift in Disguise?

Bleeding Heart Tragedy Heart-broken

Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change.

- Brene Brown

I don't have Brene's quote hanging on my shingle, but I might as well. My entire practice revolves around being of service to highly sensitive, creative, and spiritually-attuned change-makers and trail-blazers who began to knock on my door when I barely had my sh*t together and understood my soul's calling, let alone agree to it. How can I possibly help these precious and devastated souls? my small mind whimpered and sometimes bawled and raged in self-pity, knowing darn well that this was my calling, but it felt too big, too much, not fair. Why wasn't becoming a new mom - fill in the blank - more than enough? It was for millions of other people. The clients who kept finding me and coming in were not only sensitive, aware, and knowledgeable, but they and their families and communities had been and some still are situated deadcenter in some of the world's most wounded and war-stricken areas in the Middle East, Eastern Europe, and troubled areas in Africa, Haiti, US inner cities, reservations, and violent and dangerous drug and sex-trafficking underworlds here and in Mexico and Asia. Some had left their quiet sheltered suburban lives and communities behind to deliberately pursue their calling and mission, intentionally immersing and devoting themselves to particular causes or areas in trouble. What they taught me: 1) courage, trust, and commitment to that inner knowing that there is no other way, no other life but this one that keeps inviting us to notice and patiently waits for us to accept our soul's yearnings hidden in the aching and behind our fear. 2) 'Raw' symptoms of anxiety and depression are our body's way of safe-keeping our inner most wisdom and yearnings until we are able to excavate its full potential.

Once I stopped resisting, I was able to offer them:

1) Reframes that held their culturally poo-pooed sensitivity in a positive light, and equated vulnerability with power and deep connection. 2) Deeper understanding of the blessing/curse qualities of these gifts in disguise and affirmation that o ur sensitivity to pain and suffering in the modern world is nothing to be ashamed about. 3) An expanded and revamped connection to the field of equanimity and paradox so that it could completely envelop and infuse them (and me) with a deeper spiritual reality that strengthened their focus of concern and insulated their struggle with fierce compassion. 4) Most importantly, a working model to collaborate with helping and spirit guides to detect where they (and inadvertently I) lacked power to maintain and sustain this consciousness of sacred Wholeness at least 1 degree more than the intrusive bombardment of violence, wounding and suffering, which often invaded their bodies and minds thru nightmares and vivid empathic downloads on a visceral level. I was even more motivated than they were because I re-experienced what each of them brought to me all at once and brought it all home. My guides carved out a Sacred path of healing unique to me and each person by helping to discern what is and isn't within our control and where we'd have the most impact. They showed over and over again where to let go until I was able to secure a serene inner sanctuary - my very own secure spiritual headquarters - to operate from with clear intention and free from clouded reactivity and dark vicious cycles that aim to spin us more and more out of control on the lower realms until we are all sucked in. Thanks to these incredible bravehearts, I've been able to find the eye in the storm formula - my sacred 7 inner sanctuary which helps my clients to plug into the above and below (paradoxical) dimensions, request extra support from protection, wisdom, nurturance, and grounding guides to remain connected to their heart, soul, and most vulnerable inner core during the most challenging times. I've been honored to witness their peak potential and potent impact unfold in their teaching, writing, healing, and speaking endeavors as a result of staying clear, grounded, protected, calm, and connected in their own time and at their own pace. I'm just as grateful that through embracing this challenging calling, I've learned to do what my soul most longed for - to be able to practice, trust, and share my safe sanctuary and offer others a solid, reliable strategy to ward off violence and darkness where they can - and starting with the self is as good of a place as any - in times of need.